A while back I wrote a blog called " Kick Start to a New Me." I never started over, and as a result, I figured it would be best to not write under that blog anymore.
Since then, much has happened in my life, and I slightly hinted to it in the last entry of my former blog.
In July of 2011, I met the man of my dreams. Kind, caring, funny, passionate, extremely smart, and the greatest friend in the world. Tommy has made my dreams come true. He loves me unconditionally and we have started a life together.
This past March, we bought a house in the countryside. It's the type of house I always wanted, and I feel like a princess in a castle.
I have been blessed to make it through and earn my bachelor's degree. I now work full time, on salary, and am doing well for myself (and so is Tommy, I might add!).
We both have worked hard to be where we are today, and I am so happy to share my life with him, and for him to share his life with me.
Part of being successful means that there are other committments involved. Of course, he is required to travel for his job, so it has been tough dealing with that transition. It has always been Tommy and I in everything that we do. So you can imagine, when work takes him an ocean away, it's quite an adjustment!
Last week Sunday, Tommy left at 5AM for Mexico. This past Friday, he came home and we spent the best two days together. We had date night-- went to new restaurants, and to the movies together for the first time! We came home and spent time with our dogs, and had a lovely night relaxing on the couch.
Saturday was our shopping day-- electronics, clothes and home decor. It was great bonding time, and I was so consumed in every moment, that I had forgotten that he was even gone. As soon as he came last Friday, we picked up where we left off. I was napping and as I slowly opened my eyes, there he was at the door peeking in and smiling. It was like dream, and the best kind, too!
As we spent on our last night together yesterday evening, we packed his suitcase and ended the night with playing Rummikub. It just two days, we had done multiple things that we had not done in quite a long time, and it was wonderful. I soaked up every moment, and will never forget our mini-weekend.
This morning it was time to say good-bye for two weeks. We ventured out to grab breakfast, and brought it back to the house. We ate in front of the TV and watched our favorite show before he had to leave. I wished it would have went on forever, because I knew that as soon as the show was over, he would have to leave. At 9:10AM, he got up from the couch and was ready to take me in his arms for a hug that would last for the next 14 days.
I willing went into his arms and cried.
It was so hard to let him go for the second time in 7 days, but I had to do it. After we kissed, I walked out to the porch and watched him drive away. I thought about how good it had felt for less than 48 hours to see his car in the driveway knowing that when I walked in he would be home. Then it hurt so badly watching his car drive off, knowing that there would be an empty spot next to me in the driveway for two weeks.
I waved, teared up, said "I love you" at least 3 more times, and blew him a kiss. When I came in, I felt like I couldn't continue going on living my life...it's as if i wanted to stay in that moment until he came back a half month later. It was hard, but I reached out to a friend to help.
She brought me back, and kept my mind off of everything. Once our fun was over, I came back to mine and Tommy's memories; our life; our home. Looking into our dogs' eyes, I could see the curiosity, the question of "where's dad?" Although it may seem silly, they looked for him and waited to see if he would come down the stairs. It broke my heart, and it still does, but I have more strength than I did last week
It's difficult knowing how long he will be away, and how many times I have yet to come home without receiving a kiss or hug, and without telling him about my day while he holds me. With no one to cook for and a big space in the bed, I truly know that today is the hardest.
I wish so much that he were here as I wake to tomorrow, but I will pretend that he is with me as I long for the work week to quickly get me by.
I know that once this week is over, and the weekend is here, September 2nd will be here in no time. But until then, I can't help but know that it's still today, and he left 12 hours ago.
Once I get his phone call in 2 hours, tomorrow will feel like it's already here. All I need is his voice to tell me he's okay and to hear him tell me how much he loves me.
That's all I want, his safety and his homecoming.
I love you, Tommy.
